This weekend will be a celebration of sorts. For me I am going to celebrate 2 amazing women.
In the last year so much has happened and changed. Both of these amazing women have been in my life for a long time and have been there for me when I needed them the most. This last year was just a little different. We needed each other more than we ever had before. The things each of us have gone through together and individually have brought all 3 of us closer together. Yes we were the "single" girls. Now a year later 1 is taken and we are now The Spinsters. One day all 3 will be taken, the "single" girls will be gone and so will the Spinsters. What we have will never go away.
I am thankful that I had both of them to go through this journey. I do have to say it has been some crazy fun at times, laughs and a few shed tears as. Only a few more huddles to jump.
I love both of you so very much. Now lets have a beer!!!! Every Damn Night!
The other day I was listening to different playlist and I realized how much they have changed in just 1 year. I think the difference is obvious.
Last years playlist -
Little Miss - Sugarland
Little Bit Stronger - Sara Evans
Tomorow - Chris Young
Why - Jason Aldean
Easy - Rascal Flatts
Don't Think I Don't Think About It - Darius Rucker
You & Tequila - Kenny Chesney
Life Aint Always Beautiful - Gary Allen
Already Gone - Sugarland
I Never Told You - Colbie Caillat
Goodbye to You - Michelle Branch
This Summers playlist -
All Your Life - The Band Perry
The Time - Black Eyed Peas
Tick Tock - Ke$ha
Springsteen - Erick Church
Dance Again - Jenner Lopez feat. Pitbull
Gimmie That Girl - Joe Nichols
What I'd Give - Sugarland
Smile - Uncle Kracker
Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
Are You Gonna Kiss Me - Thompson Square
Somethin' Bout a Truck - Kip Moore
She's Country - Jason Aldean
There are more to this summer's playlist but it was just getting a little too long. :)
If you know me I don't let things go easily, no matter what it is. Joke, something funny, something sad, something good or life changing. It has actually turned into a joke. Not sure why probably because I don't do well with change. When it comes to good times, good memories and funny things I like to hold onto them as long as possible fearing I will forget them if I let them go.
I the last year I have actually learned that letting things go isn't always bad. Letting new things come into your life is ok. But when they leave your life that is ok too.
Letting go no matter good or bad has become a lot easier. It is just a new chapter in my book of life and I am ok with it. It doesn't mean I cry any less, it just gets easier to accept changes and new chapters.
A few weeks ago I went to dinner with our new employee and another employee from our Japan office. While I was paying for dinner they got a peek of my drivers license which was taken in 2008. They both were amazed that it was me. I look at it all the time so I think it looks like me and there really isn't much change.
The next morning I decided to find another picture from 2008 or 2009 to compare to now.
2009 - Now
I have to say it didn't happen overnight and it has taken a lot of dedication and hard work. I do have to admit I was happy to meet my goal weight after losing 25lbs and seeing the difference.
We moved my stuff downstairs, Mom and Jack's upstairs and Kristen and Harper in downstairs. Sounds easy enough but trust me, not that easy. It was like a moving game of Tetris. Thank you, thank you, to everyone that helped with the move.
Later that evening we decided it was time for food and a little bit of relaxing. Kids running in and out, adults trying to get burgers and salads together, people every where you look.
A friend stopped by that had really only met a few people before and all we could say was, "Welcome to the shit storm!"
I am sure it is a little olverwhelming at first. Children screaming, inside jokes that nobody gets. Guys going to Costco for 2 hours for pizza, J driving off with Stacy half in the car, kids running and jumping. How can that not be overwhelming?
As I sat back and watched, kids wrestling, adults laughing, joking and making fun of each other, because that is what we do. I couldn't help but smile. If it is a random BBQ on a Saturday, Sunday afternoon, Ugly Sweater Christmas Party, New Years Eve, random Walsh sleepover, I love the "shit storm!" Every last bit of it. I wouldn't change it for the world. We all love each other and each others kids.
I figure if you can't handle the "shit storm" you won't make it.
This week I started panicking about the half marathon on July 4th. It is only 49 days away. YIKES! I emailed Erin letting her know I was freaking out. I haven't even ran 8 a full 8 miles yet. How am I going to do 13.1?
Erin's email of encouragement. :) Love her.
"yes, you are freaking out for no reason. What's your
biggest fear? You won't finish? you know you will finish. You
have to walk? who cares? Lots of people walk. You'll fall over dead
on the side of the road? HIGHLY unlikely."
"You CAN do
this. Just keep telling yourself that. When you feel doubt
start to creep in, push it away and tell yourself you CAN do it."
I've done a couple races now and all have been no more then a 5k. Since I am training to run a 1/2 marathon and can run 4 miles fairly easy. Meaning without falling over or puking. I figured 2 more miles can't be anything after 4. I was nervous but knew in the end I could finish. I went in with no goals. I didn't want to walk but that first hill, wow!!! You have to get up to the Freemont bridge some how. All in all it was a great first 10k. I can't wait to do it again next year.
I needed something quick last night so I decided to refer to Pinterest and see if there was a quick leg or ab workout. I remembered this one so I decided to give it a go. WOW.... My abs feel it this morning. It was hard but worth it. If you ever need a quick (more like 25-30 miute) workout try it.
After my run on Saturday I was REALLY discouraged. I kind of felt like I wanted to give up. Forget the 10k and the half marathon. I am just not cut out for this running crap. As much as I love it some days are just rough. Saturday I tried to convince myself I could make it. My knee started hurting, the rain, the tiredness, the constant puddles and the soaking wet feet just got to me. I just wanted to give up. I would walk a little and then run. I made it and was glad I got out there at 6:30am. I still wasn't convinced I could actually do a 10k in 2 weeks. The voices were starting to get me down.
As much as I knew I needed to run last night I just wasn't feeling it. Knowing I have a 10k right around the corner I needed to at least get a few 3-5 milers in this week. I can't give up now this is what I have been wanting. After a few encouraging words I pulled up my big girl pants and hit the road. I was almost done and I told myself to go just a little bit further. I ended up running about 2.6 miles at a 10:30 pace. Usually I am between 11:00 - 11:30. It was a great feeling and I am glad I did it. Now if I can take that run just a little longer on Wednesday.
I know I can do this. Slow and stead, I will make it.
I can't believe we have already finished 25% of 2012. I look back thinking where the heck did February and March go.
February started off a little crazy to say the least. To put it nicely I don't have the best relationship with my biological Dad. Most people honestly think when I refer to my Dad I am talking about Jack. Which usually I am. This time I am talking about my Dad, Mike. I hadn't seen him in over a year on Christmas Eve. We tried getting together with him but every time we set a date he wasn't feeling so good.
The morning of February 9th I got a call on my work phone from my Dad's boss. He had taken him to the ER because he was having stomach pain and couldn't eat. After talking to Thomas we decided to head up to the hospital. Several tests, waiting, waiting and more waiting they discovered he had a blockage in his colon. Without saying it was cancer they pretty much told us he had colon cancer. By that afternoon he had his first surgery to give him an NG tube to drain his stomach. 2 surgery's, 1 colostomy, lots of yelling, some crying and 12 days in the hospital he was finally able to go home.
Now after not seeing him for over a year this was a lot to take in. What do we do now? Right before he left the hospital we found out that he had Stage 2 colon cancer and would probably only be going through chemo for about 6 months. Still it was freaky for him since 1, he has no health insurance and 2, he didn't know what to expect. For me I am was a bit overwhelmed at what to do and what was going on.
Chemo started on March 28th a little over 6 weeks after his first surgery. It is going to be a long 6 months but as I keep telling him we will get through it and everything will be over by November.
I am more emotional of all the unknown and how I went from not having this relationship with my Dad, 1 night not know if he was going to make, to spending 2-3 days a week helping him. It was kind of overwhelming. Thursday when I talked to Thomas I told him I needed a break for a few days. As of today I haven't talked to him since Friday. I guess I should call and check in. :)
I have had a fun girls weekend at the beginning of February that came just at the right time. It was great to get away and have a distraction. I would post a few pictures but I don't have any. ;-)
Another major event happened at the beginning of March that I just can't find the words to explain the feeling. Am I ok? Yeah, I'm ok. Do I feel like I have closer? Little bit. Honestly the feeling is one that can't be explained. It's a feeling of failure and sadness that can't be described. Knowing though you did everything, but feeling like you should have done more. Everything you did still wasn't enough. Knowing it was what you wanted. Things are ok. They will be and are amazing. It is just different.
I have known for a while I needed new shoes. Rule of thumb for anyone who runs a lot or distance runs you should usually replace your shoes every 3 months. Since I didn't really consider myself a distance runner or a runner I never really thought of it and thought once a year was just fine. Wrong.
At the end of January I had a trade show in Anaheim. I ran a couple times while I was down there and noticed my knee hurting a little more each time I ran. But it didn't stick around it only hurt when I was running. It would go away within a couple hours or by the next day. I tried everything people told me to do. Short of getting new shoes and going to the doctor. Till I went to do a long run with Erin and my knee started hurting like nothing I could explain. I was sure I had done damage to my knee. Finally I listened and called Kaiser. I was lucky and got in the that week. Even luckier I got a doctor who liked running so her answer wasn't just quit. After a series of test she told me nothing was wrong. My knee was just over used. Too much, too fast. What I felt like I wasn't running enough and not far at all. But I guess from someone who went from not running at all to running 3-4 times a week and then trying to throw random 4-6 miles in could be a lot in oh 2 months. ;-) Her suggestion, rest, new shoes and interval running.
I rested, which was hard to do and finally went to RoadRunner Sports to get new shoes. If you have never been I suggest going. It is kind of a fun experience. They ask you a series of questions, watch you run, check your balance, make sole inserts and then you test as many shoes as you would like untill you are confused completely confussed.
After they ask you your name and address they ask you if you are a runner or walker.....HMMMM I don't know I run a little and walk a little....."Ok, you are a runner!"
Saturday while I was in Lincoln City I put the shoes on and took them on a test run. Not realizing that I ran out a mile straight downhill and had to run back straight uphill. No knee pain. I ran twice this week and feeling great. Saturday will be the true test.
This morning I was wide awake at 5:45am to the sounds of drums. It was kind of irritating because I didn't have to get up till 7:30am and I couldn't go running.
They were not just any drums, it was the Disney Marching Band. Today was the 2012 Tinker Bell Half Marathon.
I won't lie, I wanted to tackle a girl and take her HUGE Tinker Bell metal. You better believe I will be there next you. Tinker Bell Half Marathon 2013 here I come.
One of the advantages to running or walking when you go on a business trip you can take it with you. I do love the challenge of running in unfamilar places. Today's run was a bit of a struggle a few hills and throw in 81 degrees. Really, I think my phone was a little off when I ran today because there is NO way I ran a pace of 9:56 in 81 degrees. One can dream though.
Michelle Branch did help me through the last 1/2 mile or so.
I've made resolutions or goals in the past. Some I have stuck to some I haven't. I think my resolution or goals for 2011 were to stop eating fast food and drinking soda. For the most part I accomplished that goal. :)
For 2012 it isn't going to be a resolution, it is going to be my running Bucket List.
On Monday I signed up for Foot Traffic U to train for a 1/2 marathon one of my 2012 bucket list items. I am nervous and excited all at the same time.
With all of that said the 2012 Bucket List.........
I have a few other race I am going to try add to the list. I want to do a second 1/2 marathon this year as well but think I should get through my first 1/2 first.
