At the end of January I touched on trying to work on my expectations with people and having compassion to what is going on in their life.
I failed miserably last week. I have always struggled with this when it comes to my Dad. My biological father. He is my Dad so I "expect" him to be a the "Dad". As I grew up my Mom has always told me never expect anything from anyone and you will rarely be disappointed. I try so hard to live that but it is hard. It has always been hard and that is where it comes from.
For Christmas this year it is the first time in my almost 33 years I did not see my Dad. For my birthday on the 2nd no phone call. (Which I come to expect, ironically but still get disappointed when I don't get one.) Still as of today I have yet to see him.
Thomas and I talked about the fact that we hadn't talked or heard from Dad in a few weeks so I thought I would try and get a hold of him see how he was doing. 1 VM nothing, 2 VM nothing, call work not there, 3 VM nothing, call work again not there, call work the 3rd day there. After giving him a huge lecture about not hearing from him and me being worried he explained what has been going. I was then compassionate after talking to him and felt bad. I was also reminded by a friend he is an adult and if he chooses to not answer the phone or return calls that is his prerogative. I can't expect him to call me back.
I just wonder though am I wrong in expecting these things from him or not? I guess I just can't and should know that. Do I have complete compassion? I am trying very hard to. So I will keep working on it. :)
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