I have read this blog of a friend of a friend. I know some people may calling it snooping or stalking but I heard this friend of my good friend was going through a hard time. So every now and then I will check her blog to see how I can pray for her without her knowing e or knowing about me.
See I have a special place in my heart for this girl because I went through something very similar to what she is going through now. This morning I heard very sad news and it brought me to tears. Mind you I don't even know this girl but the things and times in her life are so similar to things I have gone through that it breaks my heart to hear she is going through something so hard.
It makes you question life and God. Why...why...why would it happen? I look back on the things that happened in my life so many years ago and how trivial they may seem now. I sometimes laugh but my heart does break for the few friendship I lost along the way.
To The Girl I Don't "Really" Know,
It may seem like God isn't there and that everything is crashing. It may get worse before it gets better. You may be mad at God for years, you may be mad at friends and people for years but one day you won't look back any more. You will realize God had a different plan for you not the one you picked out so perfectly for your self. The one he has planned for you I promise is so much better. It may not seem like that today or for a while but take it from someone that has walked the same shoes you are in, it does. Know that someone you don't know is praying for you and I hope some day I get to meet you. ~Taneha
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
My New Favorite Salad
I have discovered a new favorite salad. I found it a long time ago in a magazine an for got about it. Chris and I loved it so I hope you love it as much as we did.
Zesty CousCous Salad
1package (10oz.) Near East CousCous Original Plain
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 large tomatoes, chopped
1 medium zucchini, quartered
1/2 cup fresh basil, cut into strips
1/3 cup green onions, sliced
3/4 cup feta cheese, crumbled
1. Prepare Near East couscous according to package directions, except omit margarine or butter and add black pepper to water.
2. In large bowl, combine prepared coussous, lemon juice and olive oil. Add tomatoes, zucchini, basil and green onions.
Chill 4 hours or overnight
3. Stir in cheese just before serving.
Serve over lettuce, if desired.
7 Servings (1-1/2 cups each)
Prep Time: 20 minutes Cook Time: 5 minutes
Zesty CousCous Salad
1package (10oz.) Near East CousCous Original Plain
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 large tomatoes, chopped
1 medium zucchini, quartered
1/2 cup fresh basil, cut into strips
1/3 cup green onions, sliced
3/4 cup feta cheese, crumbled
1. Prepare Near East couscous according to package directions, except omit margarine or butter and add black pepper to water.
2. In large bowl, combine prepared coussous, lemon juice and olive oil. Add tomatoes, zucchini, basil and green onions.
Chill 4 hours or overnight
3. Stir in cheese just before serving.
Serve over lettuce, if desired.
7 Servings (1-1/2 cups each)
Prep Time: 20 minutes Cook Time: 5 minutes
Important Things In Life.....
Some may have read this before but I think it is always wonderful to read it again. I ran across it from a friend of mine and it really puts things into perspective.
The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---God, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.
The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---God, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.
The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Finally.....
At last, I got the day I have been waiting for. They have been teasing us for so long and at 5:15am Chris whispered it is snowing outside be careful driving to work. At 5:45am Chris woke me up and said he was going to drive me so I had to get ready. We took our time and I finally got to work at 7am. Only one other person was there so the 3 of us went out and played for a little bit. After hanging out for 2 hours they finally decided to close our office.
After making our way home we changed, watch Kona jump in the snow a little and Chris took me over to Thomas and Lindsey's house. We got the kids ready and went to the park down the street. There were SO many people there playing on the hills sledding and doing all the fun things kids do when they get a snow day. We had so much fun.
It was so nice to go outside and enjoy all the beauty and peace fullness of the snow. This was for sure a GREAT day. To top it off today is Lexi's birthday so we got to spend all day playing with her in the snow for her birthday. It has been by far a GREAT day!!!
It isn't letting me download pictures now but I will later.
After making our way home we changed, watch Kona jump in the snow a little and Chris took me over to Thomas and Lindsey's house. We got the kids ready and went to the park down the street. There were SO many people there playing on the hills sledding and doing all the fun things kids do when they get a snow day. We had so much fun.
It was so nice to go outside and enjoy all the beauty and peace fullness of the snow. This was for sure a GREAT day. To top it off today is Lexi's birthday so we got to spend all day playing with her in the snow for her birthday. It has been by far a GREAT day!!!
It isn't letting me download pictures now but I will later.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Just my feelings.......
What is with this weather? All I want is 1 snow day. I don’t even care if I get a day off work I just want to enjoy the snow outside of my house or work. It would make me so happy. We are going to Sun River in a few weeks and yes I will get to see snow then but I want to see it outside when I wake up in the morning. I want to enjoy its beauty and all that comes with it. It almost makes people in Oregon happier than sun does. J
For a week now I have been trying to write a blog about Christmas, New Years and my birthday but I get side tracked every time I try. Right now I have so many other things on my mind. Loneliness, sadness, angry, empty, scared, tired, depressed, and hurt, those are a few things on my mind. Please when you read this don’t take this the wrong way or that you are who I am referring to. I am just writing my feelings and they are nothing but my feelings. There are a lot of things going on in people’s lives but right now I feel so lonely. It is hard for me to explain how I am feeling to people and that makes me sad too cause I just want someone to understand how I feel. Sitting here writing this my throat is growing a lump trying to hold back the tears and sadness.
I am scared that I will never be a mom. Everyone always says trust god it will happen when the time is right. But really what if it doesn’t? What if I go to the doctor (which I think I keep coming up with excuses of why not to go out of fear) and they say Mrs. Teshera I don’t think the 2 of you will be able to have kids? This is literally my biggest fear in life. I think I avoid the doctor so I don’t have to face the unknown. I trust God has a plan for our lives but I ask God constantly what is wrong. I find myself struggling to trust him in anger. I get jealous and I don’t want to be jealous or so emotional it just happens. I want to hear a baby crying at 2am, I want to be complaining because I am so tired from this little thing screaming in the middle of the night. I want to be mad because my house is a mess with toys every where. I want to be one to be the non drinker because I have a little baby growing inside of me. Each month as I get closer to period I smile and think wouldn’t that be great if this was the month. I am constantly thinking of ways we can tell my Mom or his Mom that they are going to be a Grandma and Meme again. I feel like I am constantly crying and wondering why. I do go through good times where I think I have convinced myself it is ok telling myself right now isn’t the time but deep down it still hurts.
I am hurt, angry and sad by things people have done to me, when I thought they were my friend and wouldn’t do something so mean to me. I think they thought I would never find out about things they said or did but I did and it makes me sad that people I trusted would do these things to me. I already struggle with not trusting people and hate that feeling. I just don’t know why you would do or say things to hurt other people that are suppose to be your friends. I know I am not the princess of do no wrong but when I am wrong as much as anyone hates admitting they did something or that they are wrong I will admit it.
With these things combined I think it has made me feel lonely. I know everyone around me has so much going on in their lives with their families, kids, work or whatever. I think I feel lonely because I care so much of what is going on in my friends life that if they don’t tell me how they are doing or ask how I am doing I feel they don’t care or we aren’t “good” friends, which makes me sad. If you truly know me you know I would do pretty much anything for my friends or family. I have this attitude a lot of times that I don’t care what people say or think about me but it is because I truly do care. I put up this wall for fear of getting hurt. Without going into great detail I grew up with a “close” group of friends I though anyway. One day I went a different direction and now I don’t really talk to anyone I was once close to. When I met Chris I was AMAZED that all the close friends he had he has had since grade school or Jr. High. I have one friend that I have been friends that long and it is Jenn. I treasure that friendship because it has gone through a lot and I would NEVER want to lose it. I have told Nikki before I am so thankful I met Chris for lots of reasons but also because he has brought into my life some of the most amazing friends.
I am so thankful for Chris because I know it is hard for him to see me hurting but he is so supportive and loving when I am sad. I love that when I feel completely empty I come home sigh a little he ask me what wrong and I just say it has been a hard day and he just holds me.
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