TO: Anonymous

First and foremost I want anyone reading this to know this is my blog, my thoughts and my feelings.

I do not know who left the "Anonymous" comment on my blog but I think you really misunderstood what my friend said. Since you have decided to remain anonymous I don't know who you are so I couldn't email you directly if I do know you. Please do not be offended by any of this I am just trying to clarify for you what you misunderstood. You are obviously a Mommy and are very blessed that you are. YOU DO NOT AND WILL NEVER understand the feeling of not being a Mommy month after month when you have wanted to be for so long. All she was saying (from experience) was there are a few Mother's out in the WORLD (NOT YOU) that take their children for granted and being a Mother. All she was saying is I will for sure appreciate my child, adopted or how ever it is some day that Chris and I have a child because it is so wanted. Without knowing what someone is going through please think about what you say or write before you do. Everyone has their own pains and struggles and this is mine.

Mother's Day/Holidays..........

Each year Mother’s Day/Holiday is different. Sometimes I have wanted to just cry, some I have completely forgotten, some I think how great it would be to give my family the news as a present for that holiday that we are having a baby, and some years I occupy myself with so much I forget to cry. This year was a mixture of all.

I say it was a combination of all for a few reasons. We have really been so busy that Mother’s Day just kind of snuck up on us so we didn’t plan anything big for either one of our Mom’s. I didn’t really feel like just crying all day like some years but there were a few things that brought tears to my eyes throughout the day.

Sometimes I don’t think I give Chris enough credit to understand sometimess what I am going through. We went to my Mom’s yesterday for pretty much all day since Joe and Kelle were out of town. In the early afternoon I was in Mom’s office and heard Kona walking in the kitchen and Mom yelling for me. I jumped up quickly knowing Kona isn’t really allowed in the house. As I turned the corner here came Kona with a card around her neck. It was the cutest Doggie Mother’s Day card that brought tears to my eyes. I may not be a “mom” in the truest sense but I am Kona's Mommy.

When we spend time at Mom and Jack’s we always like to enjoy a nice bottle of wine or 2. For some reason they decided they wanted shots yesterday. I am not a shot person to save my life. I am done with those days. Well, they brought out this nice bottle of Tequila that Mom bought in Mexico. She said, “This is for a VERY special occasion and we won’t open it till that day. Either after Taneha has a baby or her first actual Mother’s Day.”

Oh Mom you always know just the right things to say to make me cry yet so happy at the same time. I am so truly thankful for you! You have been the most amazing Mother a daughter could ask for. Like your card said, “you make everything look so easy and always know just what to say.” I can’t wait for the day we get to share Mother’s Day and get to have that shot and yes I will have it.

A friend of mine sent me a really sweet email that she was thinking and praying for me. I sometimes think I am forgotten about on days like Mother’s Day. Kristin, thank you for the email. She also sent me a link as well to a blog of a friend of hers. I can’t even begin to describe the blog you will just have to read it for yourself. I don’t know her at all but want to say thank you. Thank you for putting my hurts and tears into words so others will understand. Thank you for not forgetting the feeling and thank you for reminding me that I am not alone.

I did have a peace this weekend that our life was falling back into place. A peace that finally finally I may soon breathe stress free which may be the answer to so many unanswered problems. I know that one of these Mother’s Days, Father’s Days, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Birthday, whatever it may be I will get to give my family and his family the “present” I have been wanting to give. I know God has not given up on us and has his own plan as hard as it maybe for me to accept.

Jenni's Mother's Day Blog

Persevere

Being tough is not about how hard you can hit. Its all about how hard you can get hit and still keep going... (Always remember!) Sometimes the world is rough... so get tough!

Today's Words of Wisdom

In Psalms 118:24, David writes, "This is the day that the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it!" Everyday we must remember positive affirmations. The mind is like the body; if we feed it wrong things, we become sick. Your thoughts are prayers. Thinking right is praying right. (Remember!) 7 days without prayer makes 1 weak!

A Few Things.....

I haven't posted in a while so I thought I would post a little something. Just in case someone actually reads this. :)

There is so much going on in my life right now. Can't really explain it in a blog nor is it really appropriate. One thing I have been reminded of it that I am not in charge of my life.

In the past few weeks I have had a lot of time to think. There are a few new things I have come across that I love, some I want to try, old things I rediscovered I love and physical things I can't live without.

So the new thing I have discovered that I love. I travel probably 2-3 times a year for work. I stay at many different hotels each time I go. Last June I went to Orlando and stayed at Renaissance Orlando Resort at SeaWorld. I am a freak about lotions and they had some of the best lotion, shampoo and shower gels. After being there for a week I ended up bringing as many home as I could. After about a year I finally looked up the company that made the lotion and YES I found them, Lather. I can now order them online. The best part is I have to go down to LA in June for 2 weeks. After visiting the Lather website I have discovered they have a store in Pasadena. Maybe just maybe I will get to go shopping there one of the days I am down there.

I found something old that I love also. When I was younger and would go over to my Dad's house my step Mom used to make rice for breakfast. Now this may sound gross but oh it was so good. Just mix in a little milk, raisins and cinnamon and you are set to go. I have been eating this a lot lately. Another good breakfast I have been eating is scrambled eggs in the microwave. Everyone at work thinks I am weird but it is so good. They come out so nice and fluffy. The key is add a little water or milk cook for about a minute then scramble them a little. Put them back in for another 30-45 second and I usually add cheese. OH this is so good in the morning.

Not feeling so well so I am going to go home and get in bed. I have a big week and weekend ahead so I want to be all rested for this weekend.

So Much To Me

I feel like a special person in my life is drifting away. I love her and her friendship to the end and don’t know what to do. Each day I wait to see if I will here from her. I feel like each day that goes by she is slowly slipping away. I know she has things in her life she is focusing on and so do me but it never hurts to ask if I am alright. I ran across this poem today by an author named Jenny. I never know what to say but thought this explains how I feel. I hope one day she reads this and knows I am ALAYS thinking of her, miss her and love her so very much.

So Much To Me
by Jenny

Another day is passing
And still there is no word
On how your life is going
And who is in your world

I pray you will consider
These words I write to you
I like you in my life
Yet maybe now it’s through

I don’t want to see
Our relationship come to an end
And I don’t want to find
our lives standing still

We are moving towards the end
And we really ought to wait
Because God planted something special
Deep within our hearts

I know your life is hectic
You are busy all day through
My life is busy also
But I still think of you

I want to send my love
And remind you of these things
Just so you will know
You mean so much to me

I love the beginning of March

I love this time right before spring. We have 3 daphne bushes in our front yard. One right by the front door that smells amazing. I need to find a good daphne candle so I can smell it year round. It has to be my all time favorite flower.

I took this picture with my phone so I will have to post the pictures I took with our actual camera. I can't wait to start planting new flowers in our front yard.

Broach.....

Memories.......Today I talked to my friend Jamie who moved down to California. Jamie hung out last night with an old friend of ours Jeff. Jeff brought up a lot of old memories from almost 10 years ago. We used to take random trips to the beach but the best was the random things Jamie would say and come up with. One of Jamie's favorite words was "broach". She would say this all the time. So much that people would challenge her to the way she used "broach". Most people think of it as a pin you would wear. Jamie's use of the word broach was,to bring up (a subject) for discussion or debate. I know it doesn't seem very funny to anyone but just one word has created a day of memory lane.

After talking to Jamie the first time I went and looked for a stack of pictures. I found the pictures and laughed to myself for an hour just looking at us 10 years ago and the things we did and how we dressed. What was I thinking wearing flannel shirts with leggings? I would post these pictures but I don't know if we want anyone to see these pictures. Jamie don't worry I will let you see them before I post them.

I can't wait till June we are going to have so much fun together. I wish I would have more time to hang out but I will have to make another trip down to visit you, especially if I can find a cheap plane ticket. :) Chris and I will have to broach the topic of me coming down more. ;-)

Going to Vegas again

Tuesday morning I leave for Vegas again on a work trip. I have been to Vegas 7 times 5 for work. I need new place to go for dinner. Any ideas?

Love vs. Hate

Hate: to dislike intensely or passionately dislike.

Love: to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for.

There is a very fine line which separates the two. Both are verbs, actions, something you do.

You give and give, of your energy, of your emotions, of your heart. Where love is involved there is the chance of some return, a feeling of gratification, of fulfillment. But hatred—that is the more exhausting of the two. You get nothing back from hate. It eats away at you, leaving you with even less than what you began with, and no hope of ever getting it back.

~Debbie Kerlinger

Spring Fever.....

I have never been one to be bothered by the rain. But for some reason this year I was VERY excited about the snow and wanting a bunch of snow days. Now I got a taste of Spring and I am VERY excited for Spring and Summer.

Here are just a few things I am looking forward to doing this Spring and Summer.

Woodland, WA Tulip Festival
Easter Bunny
Easter Egg Coloring
Easter
Laying in the Sun
Camping
Timothy Lake
Hiking - Hiden Lake
Hiking - Mirror Lake
BBQ's
Summer Birthdays (there are a lot)
laying in the sun reading

We always kick off the Summer with our anual camping trip to Timothy Lake Memorial weekend. Then I head out for my biggest work trade show. This year we are going to LA for 2 weeks. I get to go to Disneyland!!!! I am so excited. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Disneyland.








Timothy Lake and Mt. Hood






Penelope at the Tulip Festival

Things I LOVE!!!!!

Sad & Empty

How do I get it under control? Ever since I started working at the GAP I have hated folding my clothes. Most people who have lived with me have always known I have never really been "good" at keeping my room clean. Now that I work 2 jobs I HATE doing laundry and it is a mess to say the least. I have piles of clothes all over my room and do it when I have to. I just wish I had someone that could come do it for me. "Magic Fairy are you out there? You can come over whenever you would like."

Today is just one of those days where I finally let everything get to me. I try so hard to not let certain things get to me and just think in time they will all go away. In the mean time I am just really sad and wish it would happen faster. I have this empty feeling in me right now and can't really talk about it or explain it. You know a lot of people blame it on the weather but I don't seem to think that. The weather has never been a cause of me being depressed. There is so much I want to say right now to rant but I can't so all I can do is just say today I am sad and empty!

Maybe I should go eat a banana!

Going Bananas

BANANAS A professor at CCNY for a physiological psych class told his class about bananas. He said the expression "going bananas" is from the effects of bananas on the brain. Read on:












Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!!
This is interesting. After reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again. Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.





Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.



Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.



Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking &Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time! I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe...polish with dry cloth. Amazing fruit !

Things I want to accomplish in 2007.........

Jenn and I went out to dinner for my birthday a while ago now. We got on the topic of resolutions and goals. It may have been Jenn or Oprah but I also heard someone say when you make a resolution it doesn't mean you have to quit or do it right at that moment when the clock strikes 12:00am January 1st. or by the end of January. I think this may be the reason people in general always think they fail at their New Years resolution.

I have decided for 2007 there are a few things that I want to accomplish.

Eat Healthier - This would mean cut fast food, cut back on Dr, Pepper, and mainly watch what I eat. See now these may seem easy for the some people but for me this is so hard. I am trying to hard to avoid fast food. It is so easy when I have a couple dollars to just go to Taco Bell for lunch or grab a Jr. Bacon Cheese Burger from Wendy's on the way to the GAP. My biggest down fall breakfast. It is easy for me to make a sandwich for work or something simple but for breakfast it isn't that easy. I am not the kind of person you would call a "morning" person I am very far from it. So I do everything I can to get that extra minute of sleep. What I need to do is motivate myself to get up and make breakfast in the morning. This will cut back on the trips to BK or McD's with the extra change I have. Now to the Dr. Pepper this has been something that is like an IV to me. I can't live without it. I will have to find a way to live without fast food and to cut back on my Dr. Pepper consumption for now.

Get Organized - If you have ever seen my office at home you will know that being organized is not one of my best skills. When it comes to work I am I have everything in its place but at home now that is another story. I don't know why I can't carry this over. I guess I always feel like there are so many other things to do in my life besides becoming organized or getting organized. I will do it though. I will get there before December 31, 2007.

I am Sad for the loss but have found a replacement

If you know me at all you know I was an avid Beverly Hills 90210 fan. So much so that when it was on 4 times a day and I didn't have a job I watch all 4 episodes for 6 months. I rarely missed a day because what was life with out 90210. Well 4 years ago my new love walked into my life OC. I watched this pretty much with Reina and when I started working at GAP I tried to get those nights off so we could watch it. So another love affair will come to an end tonight at 10pm. A side note about the OC tonight, the Play House from 95.5 will be on the OC tonight. So as it gets closer, yes I am sad I will miss the Summer, Ryan, Seth, Taylor, Kristen, Sandy, Katlin, and Julie. Not as much as I miss Kelly, Steve, Donna, David, Brandon, Dylan, Nat, Valerie, Jim and Cindy.

But, I have been introduced to something new by Reina. Actually it isn't new. EVERYONE loves it but I watch the first one EVER last Friday night with Reina and have been counting down till tonight. Yes it is Grey's Anatomy. Why have I waited this long to watch this show? Why am I just now watching and we don't know if Meridith is going to die tonight or not? So this night could actually end bad. I guess I have about few more hours till I will actually know. Thank goodness for DVR because they are on at the same time and I wouldn't know what to do.

My old love or my new love? Thank goodness I do not have to make that choice.

Letting Cats Outside......

Our cats Shiver and Jack have become accustom to going outside. They actually LOVE it. I have never wanted outside cats for fear of what would happen to them but they like going out so I can't stop them.

I came home from a wonderful night of shopping with my Sikoni and those bratly children of hers last night all happy. When I got out of the car I could hear Shiver meowing in the distance but he wouldn’t come when I called him. Usually he will come running to get in the house and get fed. I didn’t think much of it and went inside.

An hour or so later I went outside to see if I could find him. I could here him but still couldn’t find him. I told Chris and he said he was probably stuck on a roof somewhere. He sill usually come running when you call his name so it was weird to me. I went outside one more time when we went to bed and figured he would come down when he was ready.

Chris woke me up this morning tapping me saying he found Shiver. I started panicking cause I was worried something was wrong. I guess the neighbor put a live trap out and trapped him with a bowl food. I was freaking out because the poor little kitten was probably scared out of his kitty mind. He is home and from what we know he seems fine. He has a red mark on his head and a is limping a little bit. He also has a nasty smell to him.

Now is this ok to do? I asked around and I guess as long as it is a “live” trap it is ok. But out of courtesy if our cats or other neighbor cats were bothering their yard or their grouchy old asses wouldn’t you think they would come say something to us? If there is some other critter they are trying to catch don’t you think they would come say something as well so they don’t hurt harmless kitties? I don’t know what to think I am a little upset by it cause our cats LOVE going outside and playing but we can’t let them out now cause we have grouchy old fart neighbors. I know not everyone loves cats but come on a cage because they are roaming the neighborhood that is not ok to me. I would have NEVER thought something like this would happen. What are they going to do next? Chris is going to talk to them this afternoon and hopefully Shiver is ok because he will come unglued. I guess we will just have to wait and see. Poor Shiver Biver!

The 2007 Grammys

In our house when it comes to TV and music Chris and I rarely see eye to eye. Now we actually can find a few shows we like watching together without one of us going to the bedroom to watch. Which btw usually ends up being me. So on Sunday I put my foot down. I wanted to watch the Grammy’s and Chris and Branden didn’t. They kept telling me to go in the other room so I said I always do you can go in the other room for once. Guess what they ended up watching it with us.

We agree on 2 music artist though. The first one is Prince and the second one Justin Timberlake, aka JT or Hotness in our house. Justin Timberlake is a musical genius. Chris mentioned that no other artist has left a boy band to become a solo artist and has been as successful as Justin. He was actually wrong though there is one other artist that has been more sucssesful than Justin, Michael Jackson. Justin actualy imulates a few of Michael Jacksons music styles.

Just a little back ground on Justin's solo career so far. Justin released his debut solo album, Justified, on November 5, 2002. It eventually went on to sell over 5 million copies in the U.S. and over 7 million copies worldwide. He released his second solo album, FutureSex/LoveSounds, on September 12, 2006. Future Sex/Love Sounds, was produced by Timbaland, will.i.am, Rick Rubin and Justin himself. The album features guest vocals by Three 6 Mafia, T.I. and will.i.am. So far he has had 3 single releases, "SexyBack", "My Love", and "What goes Around".

The quetion now remains a mystery will Justin Timberlake be the biggest solo artist post boy band?

Oh this job.....

I have to say right now I really hate my job today! I am tired of people bitching about losing money when the accounts they are talking about aren't even theirs. I am just tired of dealing with people that are ungrateful when the accounts they are making money off are accounts I have built up or started and they make more money on them than I do. I finally said if they wanted to keep bitching we can switch paychecks and they stopped bitching. I am just sick of dealing with it and feeling frustrated. I guess I will have to do something about it and look for a new job.

Sorry for the bitch session!

Sunriver & Super Bowl 41

This last weekend we went to Sunriver with Thomas, Lindsey, Zach, Lex, Chris P., Jenny, and Stacy. Words cannot explain how much fun we had. I have to say Sunriver is one of my favorite places to go and relax in Oregon. I think the bonus is almost every house there has a hot tub and I LOVE to just sit and relax any time of the day in a hot tub. Saturday we woke up and did nothing for almost 4 hours till enough was enough and we got out of the house. We didn't do anything exciting but drive into Bend to get Jenny a few items of clothing because her wonderful husband Chris forgot her clothes. ;) Love you Chris! It is all in the name. We planned on getting up early and going to the Mt. Bachlor that day but it just didn't work out that way. Coming home I do have to say my husband said on of the most profound comments. We were driving and he saw a sign that said, "elevation 4500 ft." He quickly turns and says, "Did you know we are at 4500 ft? To put that into perspective my parents house is at 1000 ft." "Wow honey I love your cute face." :)

Once we got home from town we had dinner then the night quickly began of fun times. Christopher became quite the open book in more ways than one. Lindsey decided to spend 45 minutes with the camera. I decided I needed to wrestle Chris P. at one point still don't remember it but have seen the pictures and the bruises to prove it. We all realized how much fun we have together as a group of friends and family. Chris and I love all of you to pieces and are very glad each one of you are apart of our lives.

Sunday we woke up and finally went to Bachlor like we intended on doing all weekend. Bachlor really doesn't have a bunch of turn offs like Mt. Hood does to take the kids tubing. We found one place that we turned off but it wasn't all to great because the slow wasn't real fresh. It was a good time though and some good pictures came from it. We ended up driving all the way to the lodge. They actually had a place specifically for tubing 6 lanes and a rope tow on each side. Now talk about lazy Americans. We can't even walk to the top of a hill to slide down we have to have a rope pull us to the top while we sit on our asses.

After a few hours we headed back to the house to watch our Beloved Bears play the Colts in the Super Bowl. We all know how that turned out. Lets pray Lovie decides to find a better quarterback and there will always be next year. That or Rex Grossman comes up with a miracle in the off season.

Chris and I don't usually agree on music but we agree Prince is amazing. He gave an amazing half time performance. He doesn't seem like someone you would see in the Super Bowl half time show but it was great.

It was a great weekend and I can't wait to do it again. I love you guys!

What is a Blog?

Surprisingly I had a friend the other day ask me what a blog was. So today I decided to Google it. This is what I found.....

• Blog is short for weblog. A weblog is a journal (or newsletter) that is frequently updated and intended for general public consumption. Blogs generally represent the personality of the author or the Web site.
• A blog is basically a journal that is available on the web. The activity of updating a blog is "blogging" and someone who keeps a blog is a "blogger." Blogs are typically updated daily using software that allows people with little or no technical background to update and maintain the blog.
• a public web site where users post informal journals of their thoughts, comments, and philosophies, updated frequently and normally reflecting the views of the blog's creator.

So all in all it is a public journal of whatever you want it to be.

A Friend of A Friend

I have read this blog of a friend of a friend. I know some people may calling it snooping or stalking but I heard this friend of my good friend was going through a hard time. So every now and then I will check her blog to see how I can pray for her without her knowing e or knowing about me.

See I have a special place in my heart for this girl because I went through something very similar to what she is going through now. This morning I heard very sad news and it brought me to tears. Mind you I don't even know this girl but the things and times in her life are so similar to things I have gone through that it breaks my heart to hear she is going through something so hard.

It makes you question life and God. Why...why...why would it happen? I look back on the things that happened in my life so many years ago and how trivial they may seem now. I sometimes laugh but my heart does break for the few friendship I lost along the way.

To The Girl I Don't "Really" Know,

It may seem like God isn't there and that everything is crashing. It may get worse before it gets better. You may be mad at God for years, you may be mad at friends and people for years but one day you won't look back any more. You will realize God had a different plan for you not the one you picked out so perfectly for your self. The one he has planned for you I promise is so much better. It may not seem like that today or for a while but take it from someone that has walked the same shoes you are in, it does. Know that someone you don't know is praying for you and I hope some day I get to meet you. ~Taneha

My New Favorite Salad

I have discovered a new favorite salad. I found it a long time ago in a magazine an for got about it. Chris and I loved it so I hope you love it as much as we did.

Zesty CousCous Salad

1package (10oz.) Near East CousCous Original Plain
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 large tomatoes, chopped
1 medium zucchini, quartered
1/2 cup fresh basil, cut into strips
1/3 cup green onions, sliced
3/4 cup feta cheese, crumbled

1. Prepare Near East couscous according to package directions, except omit margarine or butter and add black pepper to water.
2. In large bowl, combine prepared coussous, lemon juice and olive oil. Add tomatoes, zucchini, basil and green onions.
Chill 4 hours or overnight
3. Stir in cheese just before serving.
Serve over lettuce, if desired.
7 Servings (1-1/2 cups each)
Prep Time: 20 minutes Cook Time: 5 minutes

Important Things In Life.....

Some may have read this before but I think it is always wonderful to read it again. I ran across it from a friend of mine and it really puts things into perspective.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---God, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Finally.....

At last, I got the day I have been waiting for. They have been teasing us for so long and at 5:15am Chris whispered it is snowing outside be careful driving to work. At 5:45am Chris woke me up and said he was going to drive me so I had to get ready. We took our time and I finally got to work at 7am. Only one other person was there so the 3 of us went out and played for a little bit. After hanging out for 2 hours they finally decided to close our office.

After making our way home we changed, watch Kona jump in the snow a little and Chris took me over to Thomas and Lindsey's house. We got the kids ready and went to the park down the street. There were SO many people there playing on the hills sledding and doing all the fun things kids do when they get a snow day. We had so much fun.

It was so nice to go outside and enjoy all the beauty and peace fullness of the snow. This was for sure a GREAT day. To top it off today is Lexi's birthday so we got to spend all day playing with her in the snow for her birthday. It has been by far a GREAT day!!!

It isn't letting me download pictures now but I will later.

Just my feelings.......

What is with this weather? All I want is 1 snow day. I don’t even care if I get a day off work I just want to enjoy the snow outside of my house or work. It would make me so happy. We are going to Sun River in a few weeks and yes I will get to see snow then but I want to see it outside when I wake up in the morning. I want to enjoy its beauty and all that comes with it. It almost makes people in Oregon happier than sun does. J

For a week now I have been trying to write a blog about Christmas, New Years and my birthday but I get side tracked every time I try. Right now I have so many other things on my mind. Loneliness, sadness, angry, empty, scared, tired, depressed, and hurt, those are a few things on my mind. Please when you read this don’t take this the wrong way or that you are who I am referring to. I am just writing my feelings and they are nothing but my feelings. There are a lot of things going on in people’s lives but right now I feel so lonely. It is hard for me to explain how I am feeling to people and that makes me sad too cause I just want someone to understand how I feel. Sitting here writing this my throat is growing a lump trying to hold back the tears and sadness.

I am scared that I will never be a mom. Everyone always says trust god it will happen when the time is right. But really what if it doesn’t? What if I go to the doctor (which I think I keep coming up with excuses of why not to go out of fear) and they say Mrs. Teshera I don’t think the 2 of you will be able to have kids? This is literally my biggest fear in life. I think I avoid the doctor so I don’t have to face the unknown. I trust God has a plan for our lives but I ask God constantly what is wrong. I find myself struggling to trust him in anger. I get jealous and I don’t want to be jealous or so emotional it just happens. I want to hear a baby crying at 2am, I want to be complaining because I am so tired from this little thing screaming in the middle of the night. I want to be mad because my house is a mess with toys every where. I want to be one to be the non drinker because I have a little baby growing inside of me. Each month as I get closer to period I smile and think wouldn’t that be great if this was the month. I am constantly thinking of ways we can tell my Mom or his Mom that they are going to be a Grandma and Meme again. I feel like I am constantly crying and wondering why. I do go through good times where I think I have convinced myself it is ok telling myself right now isn’t the time but deep down it still hurts.

I am hurt, angry and sad by things people have done to me, when I thought they were my friend and wouldn’t do something so mean to me. I think they thought I would never find out about things they said or did but I did and it makes me sad that people I trusted would do these things to me. I already struggle with not trusting people and hate that feeling. I just don’t know why you would do or say things to hurt other people that are suppose to be your friends. I know I am not the princess of do no wrong but when I am wrong as much as anyone hates admitting they did something or that they are wrong I will admit it.

With these things combined I think it has made me feel lonely. I know everyone around me has so much going on in their lives with their families, kids, work or whatever. I think I feel lonely because I care so much of what is going on in my friends life that if they don’t tell me how they are doing or ask how I am doing I feel they don’t care or we aren’t “good” friends, which makes me sad. If you truly know me you know I would do pretty much anything for my friends or family. I have this attitude a lot of times that I don’t care what people say or think about me but it is because I truly do care. I put up this wall for fear of getting hurt. Without going into great detail I grew up with a “close” group of friends I though anyway. One day I went a different direction and now I don’t really talk to anyone I was once close to. When I met Chris I was AMAZED that all the close friends he had he has had since grade school or Jr. High. I have one friend that I have been friends that long and it is Jenn. I treasure that friendship because it has gone through a lot and I would NEVER want to lose it. I have told Nikki before I am so thankful I met Chris for lots of reasons but also because he has brought into my life some of the most amazing friends.

I am so thankful for Chris because I know it is hard for him to see me hurting but he is so supportive and loving when I am sad. I love that when I feel completely empty I come home sigh a little he ask me what wrong and I just say it has been a hard day and he just holds me.

2006...

Today seems more like the last day of the year. Only because it is the last day of the month/year for work and we are trying to close every deal known to man today. So since I am feeling a tad bit bored I am going to write. It has been a while so this could be long. Christmas is over for 2006, in 3 more days it will be Jan. 2007, and in 4 more days I will be 31. I can honestly say I am looking forward to 2007. Not that I am happy 2006 is over just looking forward to 2007.

2006…..My first big leap was turning 30 on Jan. 2nd what a way to start off the year. That was hard on me to begin with but I can’t change my age even if I wanted to. This year I found an old friend that I have been trying to get in touch with for almost 7 or 8 years. Thanks to myspace she found me, we now talk all the time, and it seems we picked up right where we left off, kind of like we never lost touch.

In April Lindsey and I went down to San Diego which was very fun. That was probably my vacation for the year and a very fun one at that. We had a great time and were ready to go back the moment we walked off the plane. Took Lindsey to Tijuana where we swore if we put her on the outside of the side walk she was going to get taken. Don’t know what it is but the hot blonde girls sell for a lot. ;-) I love you and I would never let them take you I promise.

We spent a lot of time with both of our families this year. We both have the greatest families anyone could ask for. I thank god all the time for the amazing relationships we each have with our families and with each others. We are so lucky we can go on family trips and love every moment of it.

In Oct. our friends Erynn and Morgan came to town for her Mom’s 50th birthday. That weekend I learned the value of a friendship and what it is to not have it with you. I realized how easily it is to take friends for granted and think they are always going to be there no matter what you do. When honestly, that just isn’t the case. You need to respect your friends like they respect you and treat them how you would want to be treated. I have had my heart broke by a few friends this year and hopefully they will someday realize what they are missing. If they don’t I wish them all the happiness. I will come out of this year with some of the best friends I have ever had and I love each and every one of them so very much.

In September Chris and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary. We have really grown a lot this year. This year has been a rough year but I think it has by far brought us so much closer together. Because at the end of the day, all that matters is each other. I love you so very much Christopher.

A few of my favorites for 2006

Song: My Love – Justine Timberlake (I admit it nobody can do it like JT)
Favorite Night Out: Going to 21st with the Girls. (I miss you Pretty Princess)
Getting Pedicures with my Mom
Going to Fuji’s with Chris
Timothy Lake
Chief Timothy
San Diego with Lindsey
Dinners on Sunday at my Parents house
Verbort Dinner with my Dad
My 30th birthday party
Going to Kelle and Joe’s on a Fri or Saturday night and staying

Ok I just realized it is 3:45, I have wrote a book, and need to go home to nap for one last 30th birthday of the year. Have a safe and Happy New Year!!! Love You All!!!

A Very Special Person to Me

A very special friend of mine is going through some major unforseen issues right now. I don’t want to say who this person is but I would like you to pray for this person, their family and their health. I want this special person to know that words can’t describe how I feel about them. If you are reading this I love you so very much. Know I will be praying for you. Remember Chris and I are always here for you and love you so very much.

Fall, Thanksgiving, Winter, Christmas, New Years.....

I think this has to be my favorite time of year. Especially right now when we have beautiful fall weather with leaves every where you go and blue skies at the same time. I even have said before how much I LOVE the rain and wind storms. I can't get enough of them.

It leads into Thanksgiving, to winter then before you know it Christmas has jumped up and grabbed you. If you think about it Christmas is exactly 38 days away. I look at it this way sometimes; I only have 2 more pay checks before Christmas is here. That just seems out of control. It is so amazing how every year after Christmas everyone has a plan that they will start shopping earlier and be prepared so they aren't doing everything 2 days before Christmas. Guess what as much as I try it still happens that way and I am sure it will this year too. I don’t really know what to expect this year though. I usually have Christmas planned out in my head but really this year we have so much going on I am looking forward to it but I am not. I’m looking forward to family, friends, cookies, kids playing, music, SNOW (hoping), Christmas tree smell, warm cozy fires and all the joys that come with Christmas. But I just wish that we would have enough money to do everything we want to do for Christmas or everything I want to do. I am such a giving person and it is so hard for me to not be able to buy presents for people. It just hurts me inside. I just have to pray that I can be ok with it and know that my family knows what we are going through and understand. I just have to pray I can accept it. And know we aren’t the only ones.

Thanksgiving, that is another story; it is my favorite day of the year. A day to eat, be thankful, and enjoy each other without expectations. I absolutely LOVE this day. I used to hate it when I was little because I didn’t like choosing where I was going to go. My Mom’s or My Dad’s? Now it is easy I love it either way no matter where we go. The only thing I don’t like is when I don’t get Turkey and all the yummies that come with Thanksgiving. I had one year without and I WON’T do that again I just get sad and cranky. So this year I am so excited for all the football, family, and all day of eating!!!

So something has been bothering me. On October 13th Bono introduced and launched what is known as (PRODUCT)RED.

(RED) was created by Bono and Bobby Shriver, Chairman of DATA to raise awareness and money for The Global Fund by teaming up with the world's most iconic brands to produce (PRODUCT)RED branded products. A percentage of each (PRODUCT)RED product sold is given to The Global Fund. The money helps women and children affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa.
What's the meaning of the parentheses or brackets? Well, we call them "the embrace." Each company that becomes (RED) places its logo in this embrace and is then elevated to the power of red. Thus the name -- (PRODUCT)RED.
You, the consumer, can take your purchase to the power of (RED) simply by upgrading your choice. Thus the proposition: (YOU)RED. Be embraced, take your own fine self to the power of (RED). What better way to become a good-looking Samaritan?!

To what has been bothering me. Why is it that when someone famous, like Bono or a large corporation does something good, people automatically assume that is a “marketing ploy”? Why can’t someone do something for a good cause and there not be an “underling” reason? Maybe I am naive and think the best of everyone but I really believe in (PRODUCT)RED. Maybe it is because I work at GAP and have read so much about since August. Maybe I want to see the best in people. But really until you know everything must you think the worst?

TGIW

I don't have much today but I am so happy today is already Wednesday. I really could use a good week. I just want to crawl back in bed and sleep for about 3 months that is how tired I am. Can I do that?

Sometimes I think I really enjoy the weather because if it was nice and sunny outside I would want to be out playing. I also think sometimes it brings me down when it is like this too. You know what would be great and I hope we get one this year is a nice fun snow storm. I know a lot of people don't like them but I honestly love them. I love being stuck and home not able to go to work and sit inside cuddled up doing nothing all day. It can be on a weekend it just isn't as much fun cause you don't get to miss work ask much. Remember the days in the winter when you were in school and got up each morning to see if you did or didn't have school hoping it dumped snow all night? Where did those days go?

Random Sunday Stuff

Ok so I did something stupid and shouldn't have. Never let Taneha drink a few glasses of wine and send her to a party where someone is selling something. I ended up buying a pair of 7 Jeans that I should never have bought. Now that I am sober and in my right mind I realize I am a dork and need to return them.

Monday my Step Father Jack is having major surgery to remove a tumor from his right side. I am sure he is pretty nervous but if you know my Father he will never let anyone know that. He is the most humble man I know and I love him for that. If you think about it please pray for him and my Mom. I know my Mom will be under a lot of stress and won't show it because she doesn't want people to know she is scared either. Please pray for both of them and the rest of my family.

Now the random stuff........

What is the right way to put the toilet paper on the roll?
Why do we get stupid emails about weight loss and viagra when we have spam blockers?
Where is my magic wand to make my house clean?
Who will win the Bears Giants game? Better be the Bears but we will see!!!!

My Daily Random Thoughts

As I was driving at lunch today I was thinking of all these things in my head so I thought why not blog them. Some of them quite pointless other a little interesting at least I talked to myself in the car about them for a while. I laugh by myself too you should try it sometime it is GREAT. ;-)

Rain, is it ever going to stop? I honestly don't mind the rain I like the sound of it and it makes everything smell so yummy. I mean come on, "I love the smell of water." The question though how much rain can you actually take though. Know I think hasn't gone to bathroom in like 2 days. It was poring down rain this morning and I made her stay out in the rain for 15 minutes. I felt so bad for her, I am a sucker. The gutters on the house haven't been completely cleaned out and the rear ones have created a waterfall over the side of the gutter. When is Chris going to be home so he can fix it? This seems to be a small problem compared to all the families and people in Oregon and Washington that have flooded houses. I can't even imagine how horrible it would be to have to deal with something so much bigger than just a small waterfall over my gutter. Tonight I am very thankful that the rain has stopped for at least a few hours.

What am I still doing at my job? I complain about it so much but don't probably do all the things I could to change it. I have applied for a few other jobs but haven't ever heard back. There are a few things I do like about my job but really what keeps me there? Is is because it is stable? Is is because I am not crazy about change? Is it because I absolutely love the people I work with. Ok I do like about 4 of the people I work with ok maybe 6. Beyond that I think I might go crazy half the day. For now I will just keep looking and praying something will come up.

For now I will spare you all the other boring details of the thoughts I think of through out the day. Trust me these are normal compared to the other ones I have......

Why when someone calls a company for Tech Support on something they own they all the sudden act like their brain has left their head?

Do people really think if they build a house on a cliff and it rains like 70% of the year their house will actually stay there?

I could go on and one but I will leave it for another day.

Halloween Party

On October 28th we had a Halloween party up at Chris' parents house in the barn. I wanted to wait till I had the pictures from Joe and Kelle's camera to post pictures but I have been bugged long enough. ;) I will add the pictures when I get them. They have some that give people an idea of what the barn actually looked like which was AMAZING. I can't wait to do it again we had so much fun from all the set up to the food, decorating, chasing cows in other pastures, dancing, hanging out with friends, bon fire, pass the apple and pure fun. We can't wait to do it again.

Get Your Own! View Slideshow

I did it, I did it...

I am so happy I fixed my blog to fit in everything I want and love as well as all my slideshows. It looks pretty much how I want it to and i will leave it for a while. Till something new pops up at me and I like that more. Till then enjoy!!!

Changed it again.....

Ok I am sure nobody saw the last template I picked out buy I like this one so much better. One day I am going to figure out how to do my own so I won't have to search for ones on the internet that I don't like as much as one I create. I think that is what I like about myspace really. I can and have figured out how to change my page on my own. I can't seem to figure out how to change my background and template with blogger. :( Wow has it been a rough week but it is over.
Chris has been really sick on top of trying to finally finish his Real Estate classes so he can pass and move on. He has to do it by Wednesday too or he has a few issues which we will talk about later. Thank goodness he will be helping Jack on Monday and Tuesday cause lord knows we need the money.
So it is 4:58 and I am out of here (work) till Monday. I will have to post pictures of the Halloween party we are having on Saturday. Maybe I will decide to change my template again. ;-)

Bear With Me!

First I want to start by stating that I had to look up is it "Bear with me" or "Bare with me?" Just so you know, "Bear with me,” the standard expression, is a request for forbearance or patience. “Bare with me” would be an invitation to undress. “Bare” has an adjectival form: “The pioneers stripped the forest bare.” Just FYI incase some of you are wondering. ;)
I have been trying to find new templates for my blog and found this one which I love since it fits everything I have been doing lately. I do love quilting and sewing. The only problem is the margins are smaller and when I put in my pictures or slide shows perticularly my margins tweek out and moves my profile down to the bottom of the page. Taneha doesn't like that. So in the mean time I took them out so I could figure out how to fix it. I know I am a nut. :)

We don't realize what we have until we don't have them!!!

Man I didn't realize it had been so long since I had sat down and wrote a blog. Chris and I have had a lot going on in our lives the last month or so. I have been really busy on top of trying to get things worked out in our lives that have consumed everything we do and think about. I totally put a lot of my free time into quilting and sewing and made one of the cutest quilts for Xavier. It is so cute I should have taken pictures of it to post. Anyway things are starting to settle down but will still be crazy for a few weeks.
To the subject of my blog, "we don't realize what we have until we don't!!!" I want to start by saying I just had one of the BEST weekends I have had in a long time. Thanks to 3 very special friends Prettiest Princess, Krissy Bugger and Mook. Prettiest Princess and her husband moved to Arizona after they got married. I don't get to see any of them very often even though Krissy Bugger and Jamie live here. Our lives are so busy it is hard sometimes. This weekend I spent a lot of time with them laughing and crying. I realized how much I miss the 3 of you and how much I love you. Erynn I miss you so much and can't wait for you to come home.
We have great friends and family it is times like this weekend that remind us how precious our fiends and family actually are. You don't realize how much they mean to you and help you through so much till they aren't right down the street to just have over for dinner or to have them there to hang out with to make you laugh and cry.
To my friends, if it seems I have closed you out at all I am truly sorry. I have never meant to cut you off I love you so very much and you are each so very special in your own way.
Prettiest Princess, Krissy Bugger and Mook, thank you for the amazing weekend I got to spend with you. You, without knowing it have taught me a lot and made me realize a lot in 2 days. I miss you so much and love you so much more!!! Is it February already?

Kona Splash For Cash Jump

Chris and Kona have recently found a new love, Dock Jumping! Chris entered Kona in her first jump in June for fun. She jumped about 5.4 for her first time. Chris then entered her at the Washington County Fair, she hadn't jumped in a while so she didn't do as well as she did the first time but the 2 of them had so much fun. When we went camping a month ago there was a dock there and they practiced a bit. She was doing so go. They went to an open house with a bunch of dogs a few weeks ago and Kona jumped her PB (persona best) of 10ft. This last weekend we drove up to Woodland, WA for a charity event to raise money for animals that need assistance after hurricane Katrina. Kona ended up jumping a new PB of 13ft. Chris and Kona love this sport so much, it is so fun to watch them both get so excited. All the expert trainers say with good practice and time Kona will be a 20ft. jumper in no time. Here are some fun pictures from Sundays jumps. Zach even got to participate in the fun. Watch out for a new up and coming star next year. Kona and Chris are teaching Truck and Thomas all their tricks.

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

I am so addicted

I am so addicted to constantly redoing my blog colors to find something I like. I found a template and figured out how to change the colors but still haven't figured out how to change the layout. I know I am a dork but it is fun when you finally figure it out. Ok that is all for now. :)

Prayer Request Update

So I wanted to give everyone a quick update on how Tyler is doing. Friday the 1st Reina sent us a text message saying they had moved him in to the Rehab Unit with the School Aged kids. Tyler will currently be going through Physical Therapy 5 days a week 2-3 times a day.

Chris and I met up with 2 of our other friends and went over to their house that night cause they came home for the evening. They told us as soon as they moved him he seemed back to his normal self smiling and laughing. Reina and Ty seemed very happy and relieved on Friday night. Chris and I went up to the hospital with a few other friends to visit Tyler on Wednesday, he had made major leaps since we had seen him the week before. He was moving his little arms up and down and when Reina sat him in his crib he sat up a little bit for us. He was so full of smiles and giggles. Uncle Chris even made him laugh and smile like he usually does. This made Uncle Chris VERY happy since it was his birthday. Please keep praying for Tyler, his recover, as well as Ty and Reina.

We still have the blue bracelets available for $7 each if people would still like to buy them to raise money for his medical expenses. Let me know if you would like one or would like to donate money.

Pickles

I absolutely love pickles. I have since the day I was born. 4 years ago a few weeks before I got married my Aunt Cathy gave Lindsey and I my Grandma's pickle recipe. Since then I have been making pickles. To me this has to be the best recipe in the world and the hotter the better. Some say I should just sell them year round but man I would have to make gallons of pickles. So come Friday I will be picking up 3 bags of pickling cucumbers to make into pickles on Saturday. I am so excited and in 6 weeks I will be cracking open a jar of new pickles. Oh I can't wait.

Simple Prayer Request

I myself don't normally pass these along because they are usually not true. This is the son of mine and Chris' best friends. His Aunt Katy posted this today and I would like to pass it on to as many people as possible. They may get to bring him home in a few weeks but like Katy said his progress has been slow and minimal with little movement in his legs.

If you would like to buy a band please let myself or Katy know. You can email me here or at tanehajo@hotmail.com.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

***************


Okay so I never post these bulletin or blog things much! Because honestly I think they are a wee... bit corny! But when you need to get something out to a lot of people I figured this was the best way to do it!

Some of you may already be aware of the tragedy that has recently occurred in mine and Troy's family, yet others of you may not be, and we are in need of as many extra prayers that we can possibly get.

About two and a half to three weeks ago our 9-month-old nephew was emitted to the hospital with a serious spinal cord disease, and has no movement from his neck down, with very limited movement in his legs. There is a possibility that he will recover. Yet with blood dialysis and physical therapy lately, there has been little progress.

I am asking for all of you to include him and his family in your prayers in the days to come. I am hoping that with the support of all of you he will be given the strength to overcome this battle and be given a chance that he greatly deserves.

This message is in no way meant to ask for anything other than a simple prayer. But for those of you that are interested, I have created "get well soon" awareness bands with his name on them. They are 7 bucks and all the money earned will be given to him for medical expenses. Contact me via email tkjenks05@yahoo.com if you would like one!

There has also been a donation fund set up at the Key Bank, on Farmington Road, for any of you that wish to donate.

Please Pray!!

Thanks! Katy Jenkins

Family

Chris and I spent this last weekend over on the Snake River on the boarder of Washington and Idaho with his family. I can't beging to explain how much fun we had. I am so blessed to have in-laws like I do. I know sometimes we take advantage of the fact that we get a long with each others families so well.

We spent an entire weekend laying in the sun playing in the water and relaxing. Here are some of the goofy pictures we took while we were gone. I hope you enjoy them I know we did.

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

What is important?

I have always been one that has either lived to constantly please people or doing things for them. Some people in my life would say at one time I was a door mat for my friends and relatives. Through the years God has taught me 1 how to stand up for myself and 2 not always do what everyone else wants but what Taneha wants. Imagine that, it is possible. So recently I have taken on the approach that I can't do everything just to please everyone. Well, this doesn't seem to fit well into everyone's way of thinking. Some still think that I should do everything for them and not worry about myself sometimes or other important issue going on.

Last Monday the 7th our best friends 9 month old baby was put in the hospital. They have always done a lot for Chris and I. So in turn when they need us we would like to be there for them. They are a huge part of our life. This ended up causing a little bit of a problem for other people that didn't understand because I put everything else on the back burner so if they needed me or us we were there for them. If Reina wanted me to go and sit with her for a few hours and drink wine I would. If she wanted me to watch Big Brother with her I would. I just don't see how some people can get so irritated if you don't do one small thing for them. Maybe I am being selfish. Maybe I should have thought about how my actions were going to affect someone else cause honestly what I was suppose to do was taken care of by someone else and in my mind I had something that took priority over anything right at that moment to do.

It is all over now but I just don't get how you give and give to certain people in your life but it still isn't enough. Why is it when you can't do something they are hurt and mad at you. I have come to the conclusion if they are mad at you for something so small they will get over it and I can't spend my day trying to fix it. Instead I am sitting here typing a blog about it. How funny is that?

Shoes

I am a bit frustrated and irritated by my shoes. I am really and always have been a shoe freak. I love shoes to say the least. I used to be really bad but now that I have responsibilities I try not to buy every pair of black shoes I see and love. My philosophy if it is a black shoe, it is cute and I don't have it I need it. You can never have too many pairs of black or brown shoes. A few weeks ago I was walking in the house and ruined a new pair of heels I had just bought. The heel slipped in a crack in the side walk and ripped up the leather on the back. UGGGGG so I was limited on my shoes cause I hadn't bought any in a while and didn't have many summer work heels, OK I had none now. So Saturday I found a cute cheap pair at Kohl’s to get me by for a while till I found ones I love. I wore them yesterday for the, yeah they irritated me a bit but they were new I expected it. I decided to wear them again today to work. As I was going to pick up my lunch I saw something, what looked to be mud on the end of my left one. NOPE my cute shoes now had a stupid rip in the leather. OMG are freaking kidding me. I am not having any luck. NOW I have 2 new pairs of shoes that have to be taken to the shoe repair man in Fred Meyer. I can't even begin to explain how irritating this is. I now this sound so trivial but it is really a bit irritating. I want to take both pair of shoes and throw them against the wall or through a window. Right about now I wish I could one just go barefoot every where or just wear flips the rest of my life and look cute. But I am sure some how they will rip or scuff 2 days after I get them.

I am so bored

I am at work right now and I am so bored out of my mind. I could seriously fall asleep. I am so happy it is Friday. I usually get here between 7 and 7:30 then leave around 3 or 3:30. Well today wasn't like that at all. Someone has tp be here till 5 and today it is me. I have about 13 minutes left but it has turned out to be the slowest 13 minutes ever. Tonight we aren't going to do much but I am so excited that we are going to have a fun night watching movies. I have to say I am so very lucky that I have a wonderful brother and sister-in-law. The 4 of us have so much fun together and do absolutely everything together. Lindsey is such a huge part of my life and I don't know what I would do without her. She has turned out to be my best friend and it makes me cry when I think about how wonderful she is as a sister and a best friend. She is so supportive and I hope I am the same to her as she is to me. I know the only person that will probably ever read this is Tara but oh well. Side note I love you too and thank you as well for being the best friend. There has been so much going on in both mine and Chris' lives lately and I realize that everyone has their own separate issues but really Lindsey and Tara have been so wonderful. I hope I am as good of a friend and sister to them as they are to me. Ok now I am just rambling.

Please Please let me go home!!! Now I have 6 minutes and it is taking forever. Can I also say I am a bit irritated that myspace is not working. I know a lot of people don't like it but it is fun to see what other people are up to and leave them long notes. :-) Tara you really need one when you have the baby.

4 minutes and counting I get to go home. I will have to sit in my hot car for about 30 minutes but it is totally worth it because I won't be sitting here any more. My computer clock says 4:59 but the clock on my phone which is right now says 4:57. Ok honestly I should spare anyone that is reading this. I will go home now with this......I love you Tara and Lindsey and I hope I can support the 2 of you as you do me. Loves...Hugs.....Kisses

Somethings I can accept but this one I don't think I can....

Ok so I got to the GAP last night and I was looking at all the new products we got for our Fall 1 collection. So they have come out with some interesting things since I have been working there. I freaked out when they sent us leggings to go under skirts. Lauren my pretty you do look hot in them I must say, but there are some ladies out there that think they can wear them with a big shirt over them. THIS IS NOT OK!! Back to last night Jason decided to show me the new "Limited Edition" Jeans we got. THEY FREAKING HAVE ZIPPERS ON THE LEGS. Ok we are not in the 80's and we are not GUESS. I was in such shock by this I had to walk around and show EVERYONE. Why why would you think that women will want to buy these. They went out of style like what almost 28 years ago they went out of style because they needed to. GAP don't bring them back we let them go for a reason. Oh yeah and the come in 2 different colors, black and denim. Here is a picture of them. I know you all want them.

I don't know....

I have some of the best friends and I love them so very much. I don't know why but lately my closest friends seem to be the ones that are not so close or really there. I feel very distant from them and it makes me sad. They make little comments that I don't quite understand as to why they would say them. Or just happen to leave you out of things and don't even think about it. I feel really sad right now but maybe it is just a mood because I have been working so much and I am so tired. Chris yells at me because I take things so personally and I shouldn't. Maybe I am taking things too personal and should just realize that. Ok I am done feeling sorry for myself. Oh yeah Tara if you read this I LOVE YOU so very much and am very thankful for our friendship.

We are getting there......

So right before I left for Orlando I made a Doctors Appointment with a new Doctor Jenn recommended. My appointment was on the 12th at 3pm. I was SO nervous yet so excited at the same time. I have been scared since my surgery in 1999. Which actually seemed like it was yesterday and really it was already 7 years ago which seemed so crazy to me. Honestly it truly seems like yesterday. I sat in the waiting room reading an article in Redbook about Harry Conick Jr. The door opened and the nurse peaked her head through the door and was like, "Mrsssss. Tes..." "Teshera" I finished for her. After I did all the new patient questions with the nurse I sat on the edge waiting for the doctor to come in. She walked in and said, "Taneha?" She said it right it was the funniest thing. Ok to most people that may not seem funny to you but for someone to get my name right on the first guess, that is like 1 in 5000. I think that is how many times on the first guess people have actually said my name right. So after talking with her and giving her my medical background she seemed very positive. First we have to try a month or 2 of ovulations test then. In the mean time she wants Chris to go get tested first since eliminating him is easy to do in this case. So I called Chris and said, "Hey honey your first. You get to visit the cup." Then after all that if we aren't pregnant we get to start all the fertility testing for me. First she wanted me to check with my insurance to see if they covered any of it. Off I was to find out what I could. Here is where we are now. Come to find out insurance doesn't cover a thing and I will have to pay for all of it out of our pocket. Funny thing most insurances with cover abortions but do you think they will cover fertility testing NOPE!!! I am so upset but will work with it. Chris and I have started saving and hopefully by the end of the year we will have some answers. So say your prayers for us. We are both really excited. My doctor seemed so positive that I could be any more excited. I just have to over come the hurdle of getting the testing done if need be. We are on our way and getting there.

I Swear I might hurt him......

So most of you know that Chris doesn't have a job and has been working on a few things. That is fine I am willing to be supportive and help out as long as he has a goal and looking forward. BUT OMG I am about to hurt him. He has pretty much done NOTHING the last 2 days and I am going to scream. Why is it that I am working 2 jobs but he can go to the rive one day then go play golf the next day. I am so mad that I can't even start to explain how mad I am. I am about to cry I am so raging pissed at him. When is it my turn to actually enjoy a day off or not have to worry about going to work or how tired I am because I couldn't sleep the night before, laying there worring about money. I get so frustrated cause I can't buy anything to make me feel better like I normally would cause we have no extra money. ARRRG I am just fuming frustrated right now. Ok I think I am done for now.